I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
two words...techno handjob
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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