I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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