We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize