mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
