my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
