Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
