The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
