Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
