i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
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Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
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75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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