I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
