the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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