When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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