I'm jealous of your bromance
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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