Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
