We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
