I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
