What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
