And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
