at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
