Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
