So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
