...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
