some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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