just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
