You're so nebulous sometimes
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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