Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
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I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize