Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
