Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize