remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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