He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
