And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
