the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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