Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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