I feel like abortions should bother me more
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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