I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize