I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize