I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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