so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
