apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize