i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
