It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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