chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's rum buckets o'clock
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
