none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
