dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
