does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
