I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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