She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize