M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
