I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
this will be a night to untag.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
