he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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