K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
