Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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