Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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