after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
