She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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