Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
