She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
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