dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
