Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
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I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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