Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
