I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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