the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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