Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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