That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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