Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
